The Unitarian Nun Finally Gets It

Old joke. “Why do they call them nuns?”
Answer: “Because they aren’t getting any.”

Let’s be honest, I’m old and I am fat,
And it’s about time I accepted facts.
I can lose the weight, but the skin loosens
Without lard to fill the cracks and sags.

I get it.

You can’t win this game, Woman, stop playing.
This mad world dissolves into poverty.
People without food or housing will die.
Or decay into genocide or worse.

I get it.

To Hell with whining about getting laid.
We have to worry about being fed.
We have to worry about having a bed.
And a damn fucking roof over our head.

I get it.

We’ve been distracted by toys and money.
“Real Housewives” roll in the mud for our joy.
Go into debt for the old buy and buy.
And if you are starving, sell your daughter.

I get it.

Nature drives all men to fertility.
The hunter brings meat to the gatherer.
A failure is not “good enough” for me
I am not “good enough” for a success.

I get it.

And now, we must use the brains and the skills.
And retire the butt and the boobs for life.
Men at last look in my eyes as I talk.
Is it respect or revulsion I see?

I get it.

Woody Allen: “The heart wants what it wants.”
Or more bluntly, “The dick wants what it wants.”
Dick will use money to achieve his goal.
Million for a wife. Sandwich for a whore.

I get it. And it scares the Hell out of me.