In dreams was I in love with six odd men,
Just two of them involved consummation.
And none of them felt a thing for Susan,
Treating me with scorn and condemnation.
And now I stand so near the end of life,
My body aged and gray and sagging down
I have no hope of ever being wife,
A failed and useless shadow of a clown.
And yet, I need not bow my head in shame
As no man means no fights or derision.
I can fancy myself a saucy old dame
And be in charge of ev’ry decision.
And if there is no sweet male Romeo,
I’ll cuddle with my stock Portfolio.