The Steady Drip, Drip, Drip of Reinhard #7
What do you imagine the perfect love match to be? Endless conversation or endless sex? Do you see yourself laughing and cooking together and walking hand-in-hand. Since many of you are younger than me, do you still, in this economy, picture children and a house? I married twice. Both of them told me repeatedly that they felt they were doing me a favor and did not love me because I wasn’t “special” enough. If there was any daydream of being supported by a man, I usually had to pay a little more than half of everything, but #1 did take the credit card with more charges run up on it to atone for being the one who rang them up. I am 62 years old and there are 2 million more women than men in America. I don’t see any Knights riding MY way and I sure as HELL am not spending another cent to be told what’s wrong with me. If there is to be anyone, he will be my age, retired and comfortable. My generation was SO much better at sex than any man younger than me can imagine. If I do meet my Grandpa, we may only talk about the old days in the sack, but we will be smiling. And I never forget that any man who stumbles into my life usually has a coterie of adoring older females who hiss and snarl if I get too close. They work hard to be more clever and more attractive than me and I don’t care. This is me. Plain and simple, no dye or makeup. No fancy clothes or witty bon mots. I don’t have the time for being “special.” I only have time for being myself. Take it or leave me alone. I don’t have time for games…literally…I’ll be dead in ten years, I don’t have time.
The Steady Drip, Drip, Drip of Reinhard #8
I really don’t want to worship anybody or anything except Nature. While I am fascinated with Philosophy and learn from teachers, I don’t want to be a follower of Buddha or Dharma or whoever is hip right now and I have a feeling that those guys would nod and say, “AH! She gets it!”, slap hands, and move along on their journeys. Our society is turning into one that is making plants and animals and people die. I’m starting to get what they are up to: Make everyone with problems or anyone they disagree with…just go away…disappear and let me eat whatever I want and do whatever I want until I…just go away. I have a friend who can commune with animals. If he sits on the ground, they gather around and no one says or barks or honks a word, they are just comfortable with each other and the world. Maybe that’s the secret for the rest of humanity. Sit down. Shut up. Share your cookie and just enjoy the warm breeze and sunshine and be quiet! Don’t make anyone else’s life worse. As the Masters have said, “We are all bozoes on this bus.”