What’s a Chick Got to do to Get Service in This Joint? #4

CANTO 4   September 5, 2011

1970.

Muddling through my first days in dormitory.

Figuring out the rhythms and having a date

Or two with a heavy set boy whose name

I don’t remember and whose advances

I resisted.

Then I met my first real “Hippie”, Bob Bolan.

Only, don’t call us “Hippies”…we are freaks.

Tall and skinny, dressed in fringed denim

With longish brown hair and such an attitude.

Playing something in some band

No one had ever seen, but mostly

Just smoking dope.

Supposedly a theater major but mostly

Just selling dope.

Through him I met the big pusher from Columbus.

The man who could get you anything.

Wearing a cowboy hat and mink coat.

As close to Pimpin’ as a white boy could get in Ohio.

I revived him in a play of mine called

“The Thirteenth Step”, and cast him as Satan.

But I didn’t get involved in any drugs.

No, never having done that with Bob.

Didn’t even have a date with Bob.

Didn’t know what Bob was doing that night

When he got me into his dorm room

And without asking, pulled my clothes off and

Threw me onto the lower bunk and put

Something inside of me, causing horrible pain.

I didn’t know that it was a penis or that he had

Raped me.

No.

No time to say “no” it had happened so fast.

And he was furious, ANGRY that I hadn’t enjoyed it.

That I hadn’t acted like a “Real Woman”

To what? Being hit by a truck?

He threw me out of the room, still bleeding.

And if it hadn’t stopped, I might have gone to

The Health Center and gotten him arrested.

But it stopped and he never looked me

In the eyes again, refused to speak to me

And showed off a new girl friend who must

Have known what he was doing.

Two weeks later, in the shower,

Something fell out of me.

A condom that he had never even

Bothered to look for or think about.

And my daydreams and fantasies started up.

With renewed vigor and deeper stupor.